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Ridiculopathy Daily

[World]

Thousands Die in Chinese Earthquake, Sneaker Shipments May Be Delayed

BEIJING, CHINA- The 7.8 quake that rocked rural Sichuan province on Monday has already taken nearly 9,000 lives, and officials are now saying that thousands more could die from related injuries in the next few days. According to UN aid workers, these people, most of whom have spent their lives manufacturing super-cheap products for sale at Wal-Mart and Sam's Club, are dying in bulk and piling themselves into computer-indexed shipping crates for maximum efficiency.

Due to a unfortunate data entry error, shipments of palletized corpses will begin arriving at big box retail stores in the U.S. by the end of the week. Further, this incident has caused a bothersome hiccup in the global supply chain, which may lead to a delay in the delivery of vital goods such as pirated DVDs and premium athletic shoes.

[FULL STORY]

Page 1 Results 1 to 8 of 1866
Riding to the Rescue, Bush Promises FEMA Help for Myanmar
by staff
May 12, 2008

2 votes (Avg. 2.50) (2 votes)

This Sunday: America Celebrates Motherly Resentment
by Klem Johansen
May 09, 2008

2 votes (Avg. 4.00) (2 votes)

Tearful Democrats Stage Intervention, Hillary Refuses Rehab
by Frank
May 08, 2008

3 votes (Avg. 4.00) (3 votes)

Clinton Promises Lonely Voters Romance, Eternal Life
by Mark Arenz
May 06, 2008

1 votes (Avg. 4.00) (1 votes)

High Food Prices to Make Obesity Trendy Again
by Klem Johansen
May 05, 2008
BREAKING NEWS: Obama's Butcher a Holocaust Denier
by staff
May 02, 2008

2 votes (Avg. 4.00) (2 votes)

Paula Abdul Struggles to Hide the Terrible Secret of Her Clairvoyance
by staff
May 01, 2008

1 votes (Avg. 4.00) (1 votes)

Page 2

 


 

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