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>>Wednesday March 10, 2010
Good News, Better News: Health Reform's Passage Will Force Limbaugh Out of the Country
After more than a year of discussions, the healthcare debate has reached its intellectual zenith. On Tuesday, Rush Limbaugh said on his radio program that if health reform passes he'll leave the country. This isn't just some childish take-my-ball-and-go-home fit of pique, either. I can't be sure, but I think he meant that as a threat.
According to his point of view healthcare reform is apocalypse-triggeringly awful, and conversely the status quo is incredibly shiny and awesome. Forget for the moment that this is the same one that already passed both houses of Congress and polls well when it isn't called "Obamacare," passing it with a majority vote would be unfathomably undemocratic. So undemocratic, in fact, that he will have no choice but to punish us with his absence. So there, America!
So, it may not be a coincidence that just moments after he said that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced that she had all but sewn up the votes needed to move ahead with the next step toward passing the bill.
I like to imagine that Harry Reid happened to be icing a cake when he received the phone call with the news.
The new development has lit a new fire under the Democrat caucus' collective butt and provide the motivation they need to get this puppy done by Easter- or at least by Pentecost. An updated draft of the House bill will reportedly include an amendment that would dispatch a dozen Congressional pages to Limbaugh's Florida home to help him pack. However, the new language may get mired down in a technical debate over how many fingers they will be required to use when waving him good-bye.
This sort of ultimatum is nothing new. Alec Baldwin said the same thing in 2004 and rudely refused to leave when the whims of history called his bluff. But in fairness to history, recent success aside Baldwin hadn't been in anything interesting for a while at that point.
Still, even if Baldwin did pull that again at least he would have options. He could easily slip off to France and be worshiped in an slightly creepy Jerry Lewis sort of way. What about Limbaugh? Where could he possibly go?
He certainly wouldn't emigrate to France with its stinky cheese liberalism, its off-putting Iraq WMD skepticism, not to mention its unsurpassed levels of Frenchiness.
Forget about the UK, too. Even though the Tories seem to be having a bit of a revival at the moment, their notion of conservative isn't nearly racist or crazy enough for his liking. Sure, the English hate on immigration almost as much as some folks do here, but they're so polite about it that it just sucks the fun right out of it. More importantly, the UK's income tax structure would cause Limbaugh's tiny, wrinkled heart to explode. Oh, and socialized medicine. They have that as well.
In fact, Limbaugh is going to have a hard time finding any industrialized nation that hasn't already made the jump to full-on single payer healthcare.
Imagine Limbaugh adrift in the Mediterranean settling in one nation after another until the universality of their healthcare systems offends him so much that he must once again set off for less-green pastures, truly a man without a country.
Keep in mind that the health reform being discussed on Capitol Hill is not socialized medicine. Chances are, it's not even going to have a teeny-tiny public option that would require an electron microscope to actually see.
If he went ahead with this, Limbaugh would be jumping out of the frying pan of "Obamacare" and into a fire of affordable health services for all. The horror.
We do have some specifics, though. On the show, Limbaugh mentioned that he was thinking of moving to Costa Rica, a country that boasts gorgeous weather, friendly people and, wait for it, universal healthcare. They call it Caja Costarricense de Seguro Social, with an emphasis on the last syllable to give it that sexy island flare.
The Costa Ricans will be taking care of his drug-damaged body with taxpayer-funded health services well into his 90's. And he'll be hating every blissful minute of it.
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After more than a year of discussions, the healthcare debate has reached its intellectual zenith. On Tuesday, Rush Limbaugh said on his radio program that if health reform passes he'll leave the country. This isn't just some childish take-my-ball-and-go-home fit of pique, either. I can't be sure, but I think he meant that as a threat.
According to his point of view healthcare reform is apocalypse-triggeringly awful, and conversely the status quo is incredibly shiny and awesome. Forget for the moment that this is the same one that already passed both houses of Congress and polls well when it isn't called "Obamacare," passing it with a majority vote would be unfathomably undemocratic. So undemocratic, in fact, that he will have no choice but to punish us with his absence. So there, America!
So, it may not be a coincidence that just moments after he said that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced that she had all but sewn up the votes needed to move ahead with the next step toward passing the bill.
I like to imagine that Harry Reid happened to be icing a cake when he received the phone call with the news.
The new development has lit a new fire under the Democrat caucus' collective butt and provide the motivation they need to get this puppy done by Easter- or at least by Pentecost. An updated draft of the House bill will reportedly include an amendment that would dispatch a dozen Congressional pages to Limbaugh's Florida home to help him pack. However, the new language may get mired down in a technical debate over how many fingers they will be required to use when waving him good-bye.
This sort of ultimatum is nothing new. Alec Baldwin said the same thing in 2004 and rudely refused to leave when the whims of history called his bluff. But in fairness to history, recent success aside Baldwin hadn't been in anything interesting for a while at that point.
Still, even if Baldwin did pull that again at least he would have options. He could easily slip off to France and be worshiped in an slightly creepy Jerry Lewis sort of way. What about Limbaugh? Where could he possibly go?
He certainly wouldn't emigrate to France with its stinky cheese liberalism, its off-putting Iraq WMD skepticism, not to mention its unsurpassed levels of Frenchiness.
Forget about the UK, too. Even though the Tories seem to be having a bit of a revival at the moment, their notion of conservative isn't nearly racist or crazy enough for his liking. Sure, the English hate on immigration almost as much as some folks do here, but they're so polite about it that it just sucks the fun right out of it. More importantly, the UK's income tax structure would cause Limbaugh's tiny, wrinkled heart to explode. Oh, and socialized medicine. They have that as well.
In fact, Limbaugh is going to have a hard time finding any industrialized nation that hasn't already made the jump to full-on single payer healthcare.
Imagine Limbaugh adrift in the Mediterranean settling in one nation after another until the universality of their healthcare systems offends him so much that he must once again set off for less-green pastures, truly a man without a country.
Keep in mind that the health reform being discussed on Capitol Hill is not socialized medicine. Chances are, it's not even going to have a teeny-tiny public option that would require an electron microscope to actually see.
If he went ahead with this, Limbaugh would be jumping out of the frying pan of "Obamacare" and into a fire of affordable health services for all. The horror.
We do have some specifics, though. On the show, Limbaugh mentioned that he was thinking of moving to Costa Rica, a country that boasts gorgeous weather, friendly people and, wait for it, universal healthcare. They call it Caja Costarricense de Seguro Social, with an emphasis on the last syllable to give it that sexy island flare.
The Costa Ricans will be taking care of his drug-damaged body with taxpayer-funded health services well into his 90's. And he'll be hating every blissful minute of it.
