PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI- Jubilant Haitians rushed to the polls on Tuesday to take part in the country's first election since the bloody ouster of Jean-Bertrand Aristide two years ago. With control over the 130th largest economy at stake, the world is watching events here very closely. Once skeptical UN monitors are now cautiously optimistic that the contest will stand up to international scrutiny thanks to the efforts of thousands of local volunteers and widespread participation by the country's vast zombie population.

"For this election to be truly legitimate, it is vitally important that all groups are represented," said Marielle Duchamp of the UN's Haiti Mission. "We certainly do not want to disenfranchise anyone- especially those who are such an integral part of what makes this country so special."

In truth, the strong turnout among the undead community did cause its share of problems, not the least of which were the impossibly long lines brought about by the extreme slowness with which the zombies voted. Since these citizens only rise once per election cycle, it takes a great deal of time for them to become acquainted with the candidates and the issues. Not only that, volunteers had a difficult time locating their registration records since many of them had not been to the polls since two or three dictators ago.

Meanwhile, voting among the living is down significantly compared to two years ago. Cultural experts say this phenomenon may have something to do with local custom and social mores. Apparently, some Haitians find the sight of ambulatory dead people somewhat upsetting and may have forgotten to cast their ballots in their haste to save themselves.

"There is death in this place!" shouted a would-be voter as he fled the polling station. "It is very bad luck to be here."

As it turns out, this slow-moving voting bloc may be more powerful than many had anticipated. As workers continue to tally votes from the outlying provinces the outcome is by no means final, but it appears that the undead vote may tip the election in favor of local strongman Dargent Peytraud, a former Papa Doc aide and long-time zombie rights advocate.

During the hard-fought and often contentious campaign, Peytraud promised a great number of things, and like any modern politician he tailored his message to the audience at hand. By day he told voters that he would provide "a chicken in every pot," but by night he raved about an abundance of "sweet, sweet human flesh" following his ascent to power.

Whatever his techniques, they appear to have won over this powerful demographic.

"I like Peytraud," said one lifeless woman as she waited in line to vote. "He's got charisma, the leadership skills to do the job, and BRAINS! BRAINS!!"

As much as the undead community wants to see it happen, a Peytraud Presidency would not be all serpents and rainbows. The former general and reputed voodoo priest has a reputation as something of a tough cookie. Like our own President George W. Bush, Peytraud knows the value of a firm hand, especially when it's hammering down a chisel onto a prisoner's testicles.

Asked for a reaction to the election, Bush rebuffed any comparisons between himself and Peytraud. "Although I admire his resolve, I cannot endorse his campaigning methods," said Bush. "Using religious fear and superstition to get elected is just unconscionable."

Regardless of his human rights record, Peytraud was all smiles when he took the mike at the celebratory concert later that afternoon. "Put your hands in the air, Haiti!" he shouted. "I want to hear you scream!"

In the final assessment, UN monitors say that, although the government may want to rethink to traditional stick-a-pin-in-the-doll method of absentee voting, everything went surprisingly well during Tuesday's vote and that Peytraud appears on track for a US-lead coup in late 2007.