WASHINGTON, D.C.- Committed to a fresh approach to the war in Iraq following the mid-term election, President Bush met with members of the bipartisan Iraq Study Group Monday morning and insisted that, for this effort to really work, everyone involved must remain as open-minded as possible. From the outset, panel members say that everything is on the table, and Bush has promised to carefully consider any idea the group recommends. Even such an enthusiastic and collegial spirit, this cadre of experts and statesmen will have their work cut out for them as they attempt to tackle the most daunting political and military problem facing America today. In just a few weeks, members must decide on a new way of describing the administration's "stay the course" policy without using the words "stay" or "course."

"I'm really excited about this process," said Bush after the meeting. "We're really thinking outside the box this time. In fact, we've firebombed the box and begun the process of rebuilding it with the help of private contractors."

Hours later it was discovered that the President had set fire to the wrong box due to bad information from his staff. Apparently, the box containing the old Iraq policy was still sitting on the coffee table in the Oval Office when Bush returned after lunch. Although no one can say for sure what high-level documents were contained within the box the President destroyed, top Republicans continue to insist that the Iraq policy paperwork was in there the whole time.

So far, the group has tossed out "maintaining the path" and "continuing the status quo" for sounding too similar to the last one. They have also rejected popular option "embracing the cleansing power of civil war" after some negative focus group results.

The current front-runner, according to the group's co-chair James Baker III is "our plan is better than no plan," although it has received some resistance from colleagues because it seems to infer, rightly or wrongly, that Democrats have no workable alternative policy for Iraq. The same goes for "put up or shut up," another favorite among the Bush appointees in the group.

House Speaker Elect Nancy Pelosi took issue with that assertion during an interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer. "As it turns out, we have a wide variety of great ideas for Iraq," said Pelosi. "They run the gamut from 'complaining about the current White House strategy' to 'talking about why we shouldn't be there.' We even have a fall-back plan for 'predicting doom for the next administration policy for Iraq.' So, as you can see, we've put a lot of thought into this."

Regardless of the partisan bickering around them, members of the study group will continue in their dogged quest for just the right combination of platitudes that will make the unwinnable quagmire in Iraq seem more palitable. With their help, the administration could finally put forth a successful PR campaign to help Americans embrace the undeniable indefiniteness of the war in Iraq.

"The most important thing is that we keep politics out of this and work together to find a solution," said Bush. "Otherwise people will catch on and start demanding actual progress in Iraq, and we cannot have that."