VICTORIA, CANADA- Scientists working with the space-based Hubble Telescope prepared to take the first ever photograph of an extra-solar planetary system earlier this week, but what they discovered when the finished image slowly emerged on the screen terrified them to their very core. Instead of a pleasant little orb benignly floating through the void, they saw a giant red shape scrawled across more than a million miles of empty space. The horrified researchers recognized the image immediately as the Eye of Sauron.

"This is far worse than we had feared," said team leader Christian Marois from under his desk. "Not only is the master of the One Ring alive and well, he's taken over an entire galaxy. The all-seeing lidless eye of Sauron is upon us, spreading his malevolence out throughout the known universe. And he looks pissed."

Most people have never considered Sauron a genuine real-world threat because they had always assumed that the story was fictional, having foolishly skipped past the "based on a true story" disclaimer inside the front cover. According to Tolkien own notes, however, most of the material about the supremely evil, world-swallowing phantom is entirely true. Only the part about destroying the Ring was made up to give the book a suitable ending.

"I thought all this had been taken care of centuries ago," said Marois. "Even if the ring melting thing never happened, somehow I got the impression that the election of Barack Obama would have had some effect in muting Sauron's power, but apparently not. We are so screwed."

The biggest question on the minds of concerned astrophysicists is what can be done to stop it, but unfortunately the answer is "not much." Meanwhile, the fan community is sharpening their decorative swords and investing in mithril shirts- just in case.

A few years ago, Christians took heart in a Hubble-generated image of colorful gaseous nebulae that resembled their conventional concept of heaven. At the time, scientists all over the world ridiculed them for deriving meaning from the utterly meaningless. Now Tolkien scholars are seeing these new images from space as proof positive that kindly residents of the Shire and everything they love will soon be mewed up in the course of horrific bloodletting- all of which gives some astronomers reason to doubt these new findings.

There is also the possibility that Marois group have grossly misinterpreted the image, though that seems unlikely in this case.

"There is always a place for healthy scientific skepticism," said Marois. "For instance, I can see how someone might doubt global warming. After all, it's based on nothing more than a mountain of data and years of analysis and triple-checking. But what we're dealing with her is something beyond all doubt. I saw it with my own eyes- freaking Sauron! And though I have no evidence to prove this, I'm sure it saw me as well. Now it knows everything about me- my hopes, my fears, and location of the Ring. I have to warn the others!"