Microsoft's "Days Since a Satastrophic Failure Due to Poor Pperating System Design" calendar has once again been reset to zero. It has come to light that Windows 7's very first patch since its recent release contains a wicked Zero Day vulnerability that allows hackers to remotely crash a workstation or even a server running the fledgeling OS. Millions of PCs set by default to automatically update are now sitting ducks. And thanks to Byzantine licensing issues, most of these users don't have the option to revert back to Vista (read: XP) until the problem is fixed.

In other words, this botched patch has rendered the OS, in use for only a matter of days, utterly useless. And thus, Windows 7 has broken the company's own speed record for obsolescence. Back in the 90's it took years to effectively ruin an operating system release, but with the immediacy of the Internet and the incredible new hacker-friendly tools included in the latest Windows version, the process takes no time at all.

Microsoft insists that the supposed "bug" is actually a feature that users have been requesting for some time.

"People in the media want to make a big deal out of this like it's some kind of mistake on our part, but the truth is that this was a big part of our development plan from the very beginning," said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, sweating through his powder blue shirt in giant stinky circles. "Windows 7 is all about convenience. We're busy people, and most of us don't have time to crash our own computers. So, we opened up a tiny hole (that hole that to an untrained eye might look like a coding error) so someone in Eastern Europe can crash it for you- and maybe steal your credit card information, I don't know. That's right. We thought of everything. You're welcome."

This makes it official: Microsoft is to software what Detroit was to automobile manufacturing in the late 70's, back when people started putting quotes around the word quality. The newest Zero Day bug is the equivalent of a beer can left in the wheel well of a 1978 Chevette fresh off the assembly line. These are people who understand the true meaning of "good enough." Why spend all that time and effort making a solid product that will last when you know your customers are going to re-up in a few years anyway?

In this sense, Windows 7 has come to represent the company's commitment and can-do spirit. People said that it wasn't possible to brick an OS faster than Vista, but clearly Microsoft's "good enough" engineering has proven the nay-sayers wrong. And what are they saying now? Not "nay," that's for sure.

The bug in November's Windows 7 patch serves another important function. It gets people excited about Windows 8. Complain though they might, consumers will gladly pay $100 or more in a few years under the blanket assumption that the new OS will resolve any lingering issues from the current one, which is more than likely the reason they upgraded to Windows 7 in the first place.