President Obama has had ten months to solve the nation's many problems and, based on the myriad of anecdotes posted on the Internet and coverage on certain cable networks, he has utterly failed to do so. Republican leaders now realize that the time has come to step in and do something about it, to fix the economy, lower healthcare costs, improve education, and bolster national security by doing what they do best: expressing extreme disapproval.

In this effort, the GOP is adopting the barbershop model of American politics, the method of fixing the nation's problems by complaining loudly about them. Focusing on someone you can blame rather than the difficult steps required to make things better just feels good, and it makes for great TV. The best part is that don't need any discernible solutions as long as you manage to put a stop to anyone who actually has one. Coming up with your own workable, real-world proposals would only bog things down in details and open you up for criticism, and who needs that buzzkill when you're having so much fun bitching and moaning? When it comes to budget concerns, for example, there's no need to risk your neck proposing specific programs to cut, simply say "Socialism. Communism. Socialism. Government spending is bad, somebody should make some cuts. Um, socialism."

Whatever direction we went as a nation, whatever decisions our President has made, clearly the other option was the right choice (whatever that option happened to be, don't bother me with specifics) We can all see that now, as evidenced by the lack of perfection all around us. Clearly, these Republican critics know what they're talking about. These are the same people who correctly told us two years ago that these were long-term economic cycles over which the President had little or no control. So, there is no real reason to doubt their conclusions now.

As anyone who has spent any time at all on a school playground already knows, people can accomplish anything with enough name-calling and head-shaking. The trouble is that there simply hasn't been enough of either coming from Republicans. Surprisingly, they're the first to admit it.

Many in the party point to the point last spring when the RNC's plan to rename their opposition the "Democrat Socialist Party" failed on the grounds that it was silly. Meanwhile, the economy hemorrhaged jobs at an alarming rate, and rogue nations overseas continued roguing out. A coincidence? Not at all- especially if you already have your mind made up that it isn't.

"First of all, let me apologize," said RNC chairman Michael Steele at Monday's press conference. "I feel that if we had been shaking our heads harder and name-calling more creatively then perhaps the country would not be in the mess that it is today. I feel like I let you all down, and I promise that I'm going to shake my head and call names twice as hard as I did before."

The timing of this initiative is critical. Democrats have nearly passed a healthcare reform bill that could, other than insuring thousands of families and holding down long-term costs, make Republicans look very bad if it succeeds.

For Republicans, the congenial days of shouting over ideological opponents on cable news talk shows are over. If they really want to fix the country, they're going to have to start screaming and throwing things as well. The George W. Bush "compassionate conservative" technique of questioning the patriotism of opponents is far too nice for the new political environment. No more Mr. Nice Conservative. The time has come, say Republicans, to classify any vote by any Democrat for any reason as an act of treason, an offense for which they must all be arrested and tried- in an off-shore detention facility, of course, because it would be fool-hardy to do so in the United States.

Clearly, the "Obama wants to kill your grandma" scare tactics over healthcare reform haven't worked because they weren't scary enough. To truly educate the public, Republicans are push all the dials up to eleven. They succeeded in tying the healthcare debate to abortion, but now the challenge is to cast the public option as the equivalent of gay marriage, bestiality legalization, and mandatory clown rape all rolled into one giant, slobbering toothy monster who lives under your bed and is standing right behind you RIGHT NOW!! Package that idea into a :30 spot and illustrate it with footage borrowed from the "Blood on the Highway" series of driver education films, and you've got a winner for the new Republican party.