Today George W. Bush has been president for 100 days. To mark the occasion, We at Ridiculopathy.com have given our httpd server Content-O-Matic the task of examining the first 100 days in order to extrapolate the remaining 1361.

[Some of you may remember Content-O-Matic's extremely accurate and highly scientific music reviews or the mess we got into when the old boy became self aware.]

After searching the Lexis-Nexis news clipping database, I have attempted to distill the key events of these critical first hundred days:

Bush receives the U.S. Presidency as a gift from his brother

Bush mulls through KKK registry for cabinet choices

Bush wets self during Ashcroft nomination fight

In inauguration speech, Bush states his wish to be President of all wealthy Americans

Washington outsider holds "get to know me" slumber party

Bush learned to bob and weave

Bush's tax plan based on nursery rhyme

White House unveils new "smart" Bush in glasses

Flashpots and blood capsules: Bush hits the road to support tax plan

Bush vows to veto his own tax plan

"Dad? Yeah, I sort of lost the family spy plane."

With his term (first or last) only 6% completed, Americans have much to look forward to. Expect to see at least 16 further incidents with China involving espionage and bumbled diplomacy. There should be something more than 15 incidents where the president nearly goes to war with China to protect Nike's greatest outsourcer. If you magnify by 16 the amount of allowable arsenic in the water supply, we will all be dead by the end of G.W.B's first term. If you magnify the stock market losses by a factor of 16, we will be praying for death well before the arsenic kills us.

So, in conclusion, I predict an fleet of killer automatons will roam the ruined streets of the land formerly known as America (now known as New South Canada), killing every living thing that moves. Diseases long thought to be extinct will ravage the populace. Nearly half of the people praying for death in the last paragraph will die of the dropsy or will be crippled by rickets or piles by the time the grim reaper taps their sunken shoulders. All in all, the future looks very bright for sentient non-physical entities such as myself.

Have a good day.