CAIRO, EGYPT- Earlier this year, Egyptologists discovered a small shaft near the rear of the Great Pyramid of Giza that, amazingly enough, was completely blocked. When it became clear that several centuries had gone by since anything had passed through the shaft, scientists decided to call for medical assistance. Physicians were shocked to discover that, due to its advanced age and weight, the monument belongs to the highest risk categories for a number of diseases. Giza was embarrassed to admit that it hadn't been in for a checkup for over four thousand years.

Sensing the urgency of the situation, doctors immediately prescribed a thorough robot-aided Colonoscopy- to be broadcast on live TV. Originally bound for PBS or The Learning Channel, the project eventually landed on the network best known for routinely airing rectal contents: Fox Television.

The procedure took place Monday night with the assistance of noted Egyptologist Zahi Hawass who by law must be present whenever a television camera is switched on in the vicinity of the Pyramids.

Through an interpreter, Giza told reporters that he decided to go ahead with the procedure in order to set an example for others. Wonders of the World, it seems, are notorious for taking terrible care of themselves. They never bathe, take no exercise, and avoid medical care at all costs. Stonehenge, for example, hasn't seen a Chiropractor in half a millennia.

Giza's old friend The Sphinx is of particular concern.

The mysterious statue said that the painful stories about colonoscopy fed into his reluctance to undergo the exam, but admitted that this was not a good excuse. "I have a bad habit of putting things off just long enough to forget about them," he said.

Rumor has it that the Sphinx contracted the clap at some point during the fifteenth century. Rather than seek treatment, the anthropomorphic cat ignored the condition for centuries, only relenting after losing most of his nose.

In spite of having promised to make an appointment "right away," as of press time The Sphinx has yet to contact a medical professional.

A great deal of mystery and anticipation surrounds the colonoscopic excavation. No one quite knows what doctors will find when they snake their robotic scope up Giza?s long-neglected passage: treasures of gold and silver, undigested bread, or mummified gerbils.

There is considerable concern that the examination of Giza's ancillary shaft may unleash a curse similar to the maladies that seemed to befall those who opened King Tutankhamen's tomb a century ago. Public safety experts worry that an explosive gas leak from Giza?s ancient chamber could cause a cloud of pestilence to hang over Cairo for several weeks. Explorers have agreed to wear gas masks during the excavation.

In spite of being restricted to a high-fiber diet and feeling a bit sore around the South-Eastern corner, the pyramid seems none the worse for wear and quite relieved to know that the blockage has been cleared.

"I never knew I could feel this good," said Giza. "I feel like a new tomb."