WASHINGTON, D.C.- In spite of minor differences on the specifics, President George W. Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair could not be any closer when it comes to their commitment to disarm Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. After several hours of discussion on Friday, the two held a joint press conference before sealing their friendship with a weekend at Camp David. The two leaned in for a handshake, which turned into a hug and then drew closer together. The major international news networks, covering the event live, paused their commentary to see what would happen next. After an uncomfortable pause, Bush and Blair allowed their lips to meet, finally dissolving into a storm of tongues and roaming hands.

After the incident, The White House issued an emergency press insisting that the President is not "that way." Blair, who is also married and not rumored to be gay, explained that he had become caught up in the moment.

Naturally, the press went wild with the story. A correspondent from The National Review Teen Scene asked the British PM what it was like to kiss the most powerful man in the free world.

"His mouth tasted a bit like crude oil," admitted Blair, "although honestly I don't know why."

Against the advice of Chief of Staff Andrew Card, Bush was very open about the event. Bush explained to reporters that the kiss was really no big deal. "Come on, we all experimented a little at Bible camp growing up. Um, not that I did, but everybody generally."

The reaction from traditionally homophobic Americans has been surprisingly tolerant. The video clip, ripe for looping on the 24-hour news networks was pulled from the air only hours later by popular request. Rather than pepper the President with questions about the incident, they have quietly requested that he stop talking about it. Please.

"Plus, Tony has really soft lips. It's not easy to see until you get in close like that."

Reporters once again admonished the President not to rehash the episode as it tends to bum everyone out.

This did not prevent some entrepreneurs from attempting to profit from the incident. By Monday, email in-boxes had filled up with spam promising "OMFG! HOT, HOT BUSH ON BLAIR ACTION!!"

Conservative columnist Laura Ingram told Tim Russert on Sunday's Meet the Press that while a Bush Blair three-way had been a long-running fantasy, the actual event left her feeling "creepy and more than a little ashamed."

According to the geopolitical experts we spoke with, it only makes sense that these two would grow closer together in the midst of the current crisis. With Europe, Asia and the Middle East all coming out opposed to a military conflict in Iraq, Bush and Blair feel as though they have no one but each other.

Add to that the kind of repressed sexual curiosity endemic in England and Texas and you have a recipe for tongue swashbuckling.

Other leaders have volunteered to kiss Bush in exchange for the kind of unconditional cooperation and support that Britain enjoys. Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon offered to "grab on to those big ol' monkey ears and go to town" if it meant the US would stop talking about a Palestinian state.

Bush spent the subsequent days reassuring world leaders and the public at large that he and Blair are still "best buds, nothing more."

"The friendship between our great countries has not been altered by the events of the other day," said Bush. "Let me be clear about this: nothing has changed. It is not going to be 'weird' when Mr. Blair and I meet again to discuss the issues.

That being said, Blair did leave Camp David early claiming that problems at home called him away. Card says that, although the kiss really meant nothing, the President doesn't want to call Blair right away in order to give him time to sort things out.