WASHINGTON, D.C.- As Iraqi President Saddam Hussein slowly dismantles his stockpile of Al-Samud 2 missiles, the world breathes a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, this development means support for a US-led invasion of the rogue nation will continue to disintegrate, leaving Americans unsure of what to do with their amped-up troops. Luckily, a new foe has emerged, an unlikely adversary capable of unspeakable horror. In the past few days, the White House and Pentagon have been busily preparing for the next front in America's War on Terror: Grenada.

Members of the administration canvassed the Sunday talk show circuit generating suspicion regarding the Caribbean nation and asking the big question: Does Grenada have The Bomb? President George W. Bush interrupted prime-time programming on Monday evening to deliver his address to the anxious nation. "Grenada must disarm or we will have no choice than to build a Coalition of the Willing to remove what's-his-name from power."

Support for a possible war with Iraq further eroded over the weekend when it became apparent that the current disarmament efforts would probably not be enough to secure peace.

"We want to make damn sure they're completely defenseless and then invade them anyway," remarked Bush. "Oh, wait. Did I say that out loud? What I meant to say was that we want to make sure they won't invade any of their defenseless neighbors. Yeah, that's it."

While North Korea, Iraq and Al Qaeda have grabbed the headlines in recent months, Grenada represents the kind of patriotism-generating, confidence-building military pushover that America needs right now.

Grenada, considered an American ally until quite recently, is alleged to have begun a nuclear program late last year. Though no actual evidence of this program can be presented to the media for reasons of national security, Secretary of State Colin Powell says making the case against Grenada should be much easier than with Iraq.

"Flash through a couple of satellite photos, hit 'em with a few glitzy PowerPoint slides and bang! We've got ourselves a Security Council resolution," says an enthusiastic Powell. "The secret is that this time we're not going to give the international community enough time to disagree."

The more defense experts study the situation, the clearer the benefits of an incursion into the tiny island nation become.

Sure, Iraq is still unfinished business, and North Korea is a more immediate threat to peace and security in the world, but when it comes to safeguarding America's security and freedom on time and on budget, Grenada is a much better choice.

"The weather's much more amenable to a large-scale invasion," says General Tommy Franks. "No sand to clog up the gear. No opposing forces who might actually want to fight back."

The island is so near the US that troops should be able to go home on weekends, but considering the picturesque setting, few would probably want to.

The battle plan, according to documents leaked from the Pentagon, is to strike the beaches North of the Island at daybreak, establish a beachhead, and get a really good parking space before the tourists arrive. Later in the day, they plan to march into Grand Etang National Park for a mandatory ultimate Frisbee tournament and a light lunch.

The only apparent downside to the new plan is the relative paucity of spoils to be had. Unlike Iraq, Grenada's greatest natural resource is medical students. Not to be deterred, Bush has ordered the students drilled for oil, anyway.

Reporters asked the President if the operation had been scheduled to coincide with the 20-year anniversary of the original invasion. Bush reassured the assembled journalists that this would be the first such incursion into the Caribbean nation.

"I admit that the early 80's were a hazy time for me, but invading another country is sorta big news," said Bush. "I'd like to think that I'd remember something like that."