SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA- On Tuesday, representatives from the state election office unveiled the ballot order for the upcoming Recall election on October 7th. Rather than listing the 247 candidates alphabetically, the state has opted for the revolutionary method of ordering their names in unordered fashion. While many thought the mixing of the letters had something to do with shuffling the order as not to favor "A" names, election officials say the starting letter will change with each polling place but the mixed up order will remain the same.

The Calbonic Alphabet, or Cali-bet as it is sometimes called, stems from an innovative language instruction program known as New English. The basic idea is to shuffle popular characters into the middle of the deck out of fairness to the other letters. In the old system, A, B, and C were getting far more than their fair share of attention. Clumsy and shy letters like Q and W sat on the sidelines while the vowels and primary characters grabbed the spotlight.

By state law, the "ABC Song" has been banned in California's public schools. Instead, children gleefully sing the Golden State's officially sanctioned "Diverse Letters of Equal Value Song."

"R, W, Q, O, J, M, V
A, H, B, S, G, Z, X
N, T, I
E, K, U
P, D, Y, F and L.
Now I know my R-W-Q's, next time I might sing with you's."

According to Superintendent of Education Jack O'Connell, Calbonics and New English are just the most recent example's of the state's pioneering spirit. "California has traditionally been way ahead of the rest of the nation in adopting new educational trends. We were the first to adopt and later reject innovative ideas such as new math, whole language, and flat earth geography."

However, the alphabet may have had its origins in California's own mother of invention: litigation. In a suit against the state two years ago, attorney Dick Cheetham argued that the old-world ABC alphabet ran afoul of the California's diversity policies by ranking letters by factors beyond their control. In the settlement, his kindergarten-age client received $500,000 and a passing grade on his alphabetizing homework.

On a related note, Governor Davis has assembled a blue ribbon panel to look into why California's students tend not to do well on standardized tests.

Still, the state's educators applaud the election commission for using the system. "We can only hope that Calbonics might one day undo the damage caused by more than a hundred years of oppression and discrimination perpetuated by the schoolboy code."

Experts now say voters will likely become frustrated with the disorderly ordering of names as they scan through a ballot the size of Rhode Island looking for their choice. Fairness to the unpopular letters aside, the system could turn election day into an embarrassing disaster. That is why officials are happy they decided to forego confusing computerized voting machines in favor of more user-friendly paper-and-chad ballots.

However, California's Secretary of State Kevin Shelley insists that the system will not be confusing for voters. "So few Californians read English all that well, anyway," said Shelley, admitting that most voters will just pick a name at random. "Honestly, we don't think most folks will even notice."