December 2005 Special Demo Project Cast: Bruce (Mrs. Claus) Mike S (Santa) Bob (Curly Elf) Greg (Cold Miser) Chris (Heat Miser + ?) Kristen (?) Mark (Boy) Mike C (Elf Blond) >>The Year Without A Christmas Video!<< Bruce: Oh, hello. Perhaps I should explain what this is all about- or why I'm wearing this dress. But no, it would be better to start at the beginning- on that terrible December morning so many years ago... [Kristen: diddly-do diddly do] Mike S: Hrmph... Man, I am so hung over. Bruce: Time to get cracking on this year's Christmas video. That big clock outside clearly says "December." Mike S: There isn't going to BE one. We're too busy. Bruce: Well, Thank God for that! Mike S: I know we're usually twiddling our thumbs this time of year, but we've got too many projects in the pipeline. Bruce: That's so sad- but do I really care? No. [gasp] But what will happen if I can't sucker someone into doing it? [titles] Bruce: [VO] News of our decision soon hit the papers and the children cried for no reason. The only thing left was to break it to the Bennett team. [GFX: "Friday 8AM production meeting"] Kristen: Sorry, folks. The good news is that we're really busy [cut] The bad news is that there won't be a Christmas video this year. Chris: Well that sucks. Greg: Who's going to make fun of Bob's black jeans? Mark: Who needs paid work anyway? Kristen: The chain must remain unbroken! Bob: Come on. We meet impossible deadlines for our clients every day. Mike C: Yeah, we could do something great if we really put our backs into it! Bob: Ouch. Let's not do that, OK? [meanwhile] Mike S: hmrph... where did I leave my keys- um, where am I? ?: Santa? Christmas isn't for two weeks. Mike S: Um. Yeah! [alt: you must never speak of this] Mike C: Does anyone have any ideas? Bob: What about... Ah, I got nothin'. Mike C: We are so hosed. Mark: I could write an algorithm to generate a Christmas video from rehashed inside jokes and clips from 70's holiday specials. Bob: How long would something like that take? Mark: About eight times as it would just to make one ourselves. Greg : I know! Let's do a song! [fart] [big] Mike C: Yeah, but we just did one. Greg: Oh [disappointed] Mike C: Thanks, though. ---- Bob: So, what do we do now? Bruce: I've got an idea! We can get cheap undocumented elf labor to do it for us! Bob: Brilliant! Thanks, globalization! George Bush: You're welcome. Hehehe [GFX: obligatory political joke] Bruce: Off to the border, folks! [flying to new NAFTA facility...] ------- Chris: Welcome to Sweatshop Innovations where we pass the savings on to YOU! I pay these saps next to nothing and they get almost no benefits at all Mike C: Um, neither do we. Mark: Are they hiring? Chris: I have one word to say on the subject: penumbra! [crickets] Chris: Screw you guys. Get out of my office. Mike C: Seriously, why is Bruce dressed like that? Bob: I dunno. Bruce: Greg. We're doing a song after all. Greg: I knew you'd come crawling back. ---- Bruce[VO]: In the end, it worked out just fine. The children of the world stopped crying and broke open their piggy banks to finance new and interesting projects at Bennett Innovations. ---- Mark: Hey Kristen: You gonna let us out of here? Mike S: This has worked out so well- let's take the 25th off. Mark: The whole day? Mike S: Yes. The Ho-Ho-whole day. [flying off]Hey, Bob. Nice jeans. Bob: Shut up Feliz Navidad!